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Well, I’ve finally waded through all of Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. It took me about three weeks because I just couldn’t pick it up. My initial critique (”abysmal”) which I wrote after reading the first hundred pages or so, still stands. What I don’t understand is why is his work so popular?

I groaned a lot when reading this book. Just about every time I read the word ‘camerlengo’. Why couldn’t he vary it a bit. It means ‘chamberlain’. I groaned every time he made out that the sharpened tip of an obelisk had a pyramid shape (what else) and so had some mystical importance. I groaned whenever some minor or clever device was made out to be horrific, grotesque or absolutely amazing!

Let me chase that last item a little. There is much made about ‘ambigrammatic’ words - basically words that read the same upside down as right side up. (The English OXO beef cubes would be a trivial example). Now, to me, this is a clever device, no more. It does not signify anything more. Those who read the Omni magazine back in the 80s might remember the work of Scott Kim who devised clever logograms that could be read upside down etc. Scott Kim’s website. Scott Kim does it for the entertainment. He has his priorities right.

More about this soon.

Bern

Well, I succumbed to temptation and started reading Dan Brown’s other books - ‘The DaVinci Code’ and ‘Angels and Demons’. I can dismiss A&D in one word - abysmal!

The DaVinci Code is another matter and shows that Dan Brown knows his readership too well. he has captured those countless numbers who have a little knowledge. And Dan Brown takes this little knowledge and expands it to sound still reasonable. If you have more than a little knowledge then the book is just his other’s - unreasonably simplistic. For crying out loud, DB seems to think that an anagram is the highest form of coding. And as for the other cryptic clues - ‘old wisdom’ - who doesn’t think Sophia? Especially when that’s the heroine’s name!

The best thing about the book is the design of the box that holds the clue - the cryptex. It’s a clever little device which is really a hollow combination lock. Pretty easy to make. And a few enterprising craft workers have started marketing them. Don’t get me wrong - the cryptex is a toy and is not to be considered a high form of secure transport. Not as good as some of the briefcases on the market.

Another positive for me was the interest it generated in me to have a look on the web at the different sites mentioned in the book: The Louvre Museum, Saint Sulpice Church, The Rose Line, Rosslyn Church in Scotland, Westminster Abbey.

The biggest lie though is the terrible way in which the Opus Dei organisation is described. While I do not agree with much that OD stands for, a poor debater will often resort to personal insult rather than fact. It would have been better if DB had resorted to fact.

Whichever way you look at it, DB has written a very clever book. Not a good book, in fact quite bad in places. But patched with lots of half truths and reasonable leaps ‘of faith’ it becomes an old fashioned matinee serial in which belief is suspended for the sake of following the heros to wherever they may go next.

Well, I’ve just finished reading Digital Fortress by Dan Brown, author of The DaVinci Code. This book is a first class example of an author cashing in on their fame. The book is awful. The plot has the potential to be a top story. But, Dan Brown seems to have in mind how it would look on the big screen. There is a lot of gratuitous violence. The action is used as punctuation marks. Brown gets to a quiet scene so he adds some action. It’s pointless.

The plot hinges on the invention of an unbreakable code that will make the American super stealthy snooping organisation, the NSA, useless. Now, to my way of thinking, any story that hinges on the activity of true geniuses, like the world’s top code breakers, is courting disaster unless the writer has a thorough understanding of the topic. Dan Brown does not. For example, it takes 400 pages or more before someone susses that Tandako is an anagram of Ndakota (North Dakota). This is in fact pivotal to the story.

Second example: The writer assumes that people’s email addresses have to reflect their true identity.

Third example: The writer confuses plays on word with code.

If you’ve got a few hours to waste, read the book. Otherwise don’t worry.

Bern

Got three books from the library last week, all by Bill Bryson.

• Bill Bryson’s African Diary
  A slim volume with all proceeds from the book going to CARE. The diary outlines some of the work being undertaken by CARE teams in Kenya.
• A Walk in the Woods
  Recounts the author’s walks along the Appalachian Trail. The AT is a purely walking track that meanders down the eastern mountains of USA through 13 states over a distance of more than 2000 miles. The author recounts some of the folklore of the trail, some of the events that led to its origins and some of the characters. He also touches on some of the environmental folly that has resulted in loss of variety in the woods. There is also threaded through it a realisation that much of walking the trail has to do with emotion and not just physical ability.
• Notes from a Big Country
  A series of short column articles written for a British audience about the idiosyncracies of American culture.

I went to the local public library the other day. It turns out it was the first time in more than three years. No, that’s not quite right. This was the first time in that long that I’d tried to borrow anything. After a lapse of three years you get wiped off the system and have to get a new card. So, besides the three books I borrowed I’ve also got a new piece of plastic.

The three books came about a little by accident. I’ve always enjoyed Asimov, so while I was waiting to get on a PC I browsed the shelves for a new Asimov - meaning one I haven’t read. The ‘good doctor’ died in 1992 so there are no new Asimov’s except those that use his name to get more market share. Shame. Anyway I picked up ‘Robot Dreams’ I think I’ve read it, but I can’t remember.

A short move along the shelf and I saw Melvyn Bragg’s novels. His TV documentrary on the ‘Adventure of English’ is fascinating stuff. And I saw one of his interviews in which the style was more memorable than the interviewee. I remember that Mr. Bragg didn’t say anything or even appear during the interview (a lesson in modesty that other TV personalities could learn from). I don’t remember who he was interviewing. So, I picked up one of his novels too - ‘Josh Lawton’. It’s set in England in the early sixties. But, it’s got that quaint attitude that makes reading those sort of book so tedious. It’s too much of an exercise in mental gymnastics.

While I was waiting to get my new card, I started thumbing through a pamphlet that told me the ten most popular books that Australians were reading. Because it was a big pamphlet and that list didn’t take up much space, they padded the rest with several other ten most read lists under a variety of categories. Anyway Bill Bryson’s name was there. So while the card was being processed I wandered off to see if there were any on the shelves. There were a couple. So I picked up ‘Bill Bryson Down Under’.

I’ve put down ‘Josh Lawton’ and started on ‘Down Under’. I’m pleased I made the change. Bill Bryson’s writing is a real hoot.

Bern