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I can’t stand sloppiness in professional services. Take journalism. In particular the person responsible for creating headlines (I believe that’s the sub-editor). As I heard it said the other day - if there’s a fifty-fifty chance of either getting it right or getting it wrong why do some get it wrong so often?

A minute on Google tells you it’s wrong!

Interesting weather

I’m moving house soon. I’ve done it very often before but not for the last ten years. Sorting through my ‘odds and ends’ file I came across a newpaper page from October 1996. I scanned the front and back of the sheet but couldn’t work out why I’d saved it. There was a tickle in the back of my mind that it had something to do with the weather page. Still couldn’t see the reason. Anyway, I put it back in the folder. I just got it out again … the reason is obvious once you see it.

This episode goes some way to explaining why sub-editors get it wrong. If memory serves me right, the weather was real molestie that day!

Actually a headline from yesterday. At first glance it makes no sense.

This is an attempt at a play on words with the name of a horse ‘Surge of Power’ - an entrant in the Launceston Cup.

Today’s headline
This could be one of those ‘why didn’t they think of it sooner’.

It is, of course in response to Steve ‘The Crocodile Hunter’ Irwin’s foray into the croc pit with his baby son under one arm and a dead chicken in the other. Lucky he didn’t get confused about what to do next.

Nearly missed this one …

Bern

A lot of the people in modern society do not do things right. They act the way they do without much thought. There was the big, annual ‘kite fly-in’ last Sunday. The number of kites was pretty amazing and it looked extraordinary. There were lots of families.

Walking past a little later I noticed parents were starting to fray around the edges. Obviously they had brought the little kids out to have a nice day at the beach and watch the kites. But mum and dad were not having fun so there was lots of screaming and arguing and foot stomping. No wonder kids don’t know where they stand when the lesson they get from the significant adults in their life is that if you can shout louder, throw a tantrum or swear loudly enough you’ll get what you want - even peace and quiet. I half expected one of the beset-upon kids to ask ‘Dad, are we having fun, yet?’

Of course the other lesson that parents often impart is that violence in the form of smacking is the way to achieve harmony and peace. Yeah, right. Take that idea and see if it flies!

Bern

Journalism is really starting to bottom out. Especially when it comes to the presentation of TV news. There seems to be an upsurge in editorialisation and it is sometimes very subtle. I prefer that the news be presented objectively with a statement of what happened. Let the professionals in the field discuss the ramifications.

However, far too often the journalist throws in emotive words and phrases that colour the story. So, where the facts are ‘three youths were questioned by police over a case of cruelty to a kitten’, the journalist presents it as ‘three cowardly teenagers were taken into custody for questioning over the the most cruel and heartless torturing of a three week old kitten called Lexie’ (overlay with image of Lexie with leg in plaster sipping from a bowl of milk).

The second rendering of the story adds colour and emotion - neither of which is the role of the news journalist.

I couldn’t resist this purchase - I didn’t need it. The mind ponders the powers within.

Bern

Like most newspapers our local paper has a letters to the editor page (sometimes pages if there’s gaps to fill). I would like to offer a class in writing letters to editors. In general the letter writers fall into one (usually) of several categories.

The first is the professional - usually a politician using the paper to make a point or explain why something can’t be done now but will be done in the foreseeable future.

The second is the frequent - some people seem to get perverse pleasure out of writing as many letters to the editor as possible. I believe the pleasure comes from getting up the nose of as many people as possible with the least amount of effort.

The third is the whiner - these are often the most difficult to comprehend. They are written in that convoluted language that seeks to imply that the writer is not really stupid. They often start ‘Why Oh why …’

The fourth is the confused - written by people who have read a book on the subject that agreed with their point of view. The argument is usually an abstruse philosophical point put vigorously and with reference to the aforementioned book. Put simply the argument goes - if you don’t believe me have a look at the book. These often fall into categories 2 and 3.

The fifth are the psychology reversalists - these are written by people who are obviously upset and at their wit’s end. They would never usually go out of their way to complain, but they can only take so much. Their one failing is that the reverse psychology angle just does not make sense. When your last coins have been stolen you should not wish the thief a thoroughly good time. This will only encourage them. You should instead go for their jugular - tell them how you feel about it and make them feel just as miserable as you. So, you don’t say “I hope that person who stole my purse had a real nice time spending my money.” Rather, say “I hope the lowlife who stole my money brings it back. Because of you I had to survive another week on cat food. I hope your deeds get paraded in front of the whole world you snivelling, craven, criminal.”

The smallest group are the congratulators - those tourists who enjoyed their stay so much they just have to write to the local paper and tell us how good we are. Don’t write to us, write it in your own local paper. Or the local paper of somewhere you’ve never been. We want more tourists and you can market us.

The last group are the very uninteresting information seekers - they write to all the newspapers in the country looking for the descendants of John Bloggs and Mary Bloggs (nee Biggs).

The course would not take long. The practical session would mean that the local paper had resources of page fill for weeks to come.

Bern

I went to the local public library the other day. It turns out it was the first time in more than three years. No, that’s not quite right. This was the first time in that long that I’d tried to borrow anything. After a lapse of three years you get wiped off the system and have to get a new card. So, besides the three books I borrowed I’ve also got a new piece of plastic.

The three books came about a little by accident. I’ve always enjoyed Asimov, so while I was waiting to get on a PC I browsed the shelves for a new Asimov - meaning one I haven’t read. The ‘good doctor’ died in 1992 so there are no new Asimov’s except those that use his name to get more market share. Shame. Anyway I picked up ‘Robot Dreams’ I think I’ve read it, but I can’t remember.

A short move along the shelf and I saw Melvyn Bragg’s novels. His TV documentrary on the ‘Adventure of English’ is fascinating stuff. And I saw one of his interviews in which the style was more memorable than the interviewee. I remember that Mr. Bragg didn’t say anything or even appear during the interview (a lesson in modesty that other TV personalities could learn from). I don’t remember who he was interviewing. So, I picked up one of his novels too - ‘Josh Lawton’. It’s set in England in the early sixties. But, it’s got that quaint attitude that makes reading those sort of book so tedious. It’s too much of an exercise in mental gymnastics.

While I was waiting to get my new card, I started thumbing through a pamphlet that told me the ten most popular books that Australians were reading. Because it was a big pamphlet and that list didn’t take up much space, they padded the rest with several other ten most read lists under a variety of categories. Anyway Bill Bryson’s name was there. So while the card was being processed I wandered off to see if there were any on the shelves. There were a couple. So I picked up ‘Bill Bryson Down Under’.

I’ve put down ‘Josh Lawton’ and started on ‘Down Under’. I’m pleased I made the change. Bill Bryson’s writing is a real hoot.

Bern

At last this journal is set up - it’s not so much that it’s hard to do, it’s just time consuming. Now comes the hard part, putting something here at least once a week.

One of my peeves is the improper use of English by people who really should know better. But then you catch people in tricky situations - like when they have to think of what to say next. This sometimes leads to some interesting mixed metaphors. I heard a good one on the news report on Thursday last.

In case you don’t know I reside in Tasmania, an island, Australia’s smallest state both in area and population. There is a strong tourist industry especially catered for by a ferry service from the mainland. There are three ferries. Two ferries sail between Melbourne and Devonport. The third between Sydney and Devonport.

Last Wednesday we had our hundred year storm. Twenty metre waves damaged the ferry from Melbourne, which had to turn back both for the safety and the comfort of passengers. It was reported that the ferry was not seriously damaged and all the ferries would be back on deck soon. Which is a very interesting image!

Bern